I want to be funny, snarky and entertaining right now, but…

You've Been Hooked!

The lobby is colder than Ellen DeGeneres while envisioning Jonah Hill’s penis.

My hands resemble a Gorn’s scaly exterior. (Yeah, I’m a nerd. Get over it. I’ve had intercourse, so I get a pass. Shut up.)

The hotel, much like my writing “career”, is currently lifeless. I’ve made five Canadian dollars delivering a single case of beer to a couple of burly Sons of Anarchy wannabes guys, one of whom ran straight to the window to gaze upon the all-powerful Falls while the other looked him up and down and remarked,

“Well, we have the day free, the room is paid for and the booze is already cold… let’s get this party started! I want to do stuff that would make Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger blush!”

To which his companion replied,

“Heath’s not blushing, man. He’s dead! And the bellguy is still here, you nut!”

Yep. Of…

View original post 158 more words

Advertisements

One thought on “I want to be funny, snarky and entertaining right now, but…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s