Adam and Eve

Adam and Eve

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Not my coffee!!

I’ve survived the low fat craze, low carb craze, I’m even old enough to remember the cabbage diet (don’t ask). But now my beloved Keurig coffee cups?

Apparently, they have high levels of bisphenol A (BPA) and when you mix the acidic coffee, high heat, and plastic – it causes sudden death.

Or something like that.

It makes me wonder. Is there anything out there that doesn’t kill us?

Is it possible that life is simply a terminal event?

We’re all going to die. Why the obsession with fighting it?

I understand fighting the notion of kids with cancer, young mothers with lung disease, and even poor Jerry Garcia with his pickled liver.

But my coffee? Please, not my coffee.

Zumba

I did Zumba for the first time this morning. In reality, I was in a room where other people did Zumba. I mostly stood in the back flailing my arms trying not to get stepped on. Some of those women went into some kind of Zumba high. All around me hair flew in circles, hips gyrated, voices screamed in excitement, “Whoa” or “Zumba! Zumba!”

I’ve never seen people so excited to exercise. I’m just glad I made it out of there in one piece. Friday, I’m off to try spinning. I figure I’ll be on a bike that remains stationary. There’s a smaller chance I’ll get injured by over exuberant fitness freaks. Wish me luck.

I want to be funny, snarky and entertaining right now, but…

You've Been Hooked!

The lobby is colder than Ellen DeGeneres while envisioning Jonah Hill’s penis.

My hands resemble a Gorn’s scaly exterior. (Yeah, I’m a nerd. Get over it. I’ve had intercourse, so I get a pass. Shut up.)

The hotel, much like my writing “career”, is currently lifeless. I’ve made five Canadian dollars delivering a single case of beer to a couple of burly Sons of Anarchy wannabes guys, one of whom ran straight to the window to gaze upon the all-powerful Falls while the other looked him up and down and remarked,

“Well, we have the day free, the room is paid for and the booze is already cold… let’s get this party started! I want to do stuff that would make Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger blush!”

To which his companion replied,

“Heath’s not blushing, man. He’s dead! And the bellguy is still here, you nut!”

Yep. Of…

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